Guess who's back... Back again? Say she's back! Tell a friend!

Hi hi hiiiii!
How's it going? Missed me? So I'm back from India! And I can't believe how fast it's all gone.... It was a just a whirlwind of saris, shopping outfits, and fun experiences! It's unbelievable how much shops look after you.... You walk in, take a seat, and all these salesmen start showing you saris, opening them all, trying to convince you how pretty they are!! And then they'll bring you drinks and lunch, and do anything they can to stop you leaving... Quite cool.... I love all my pretty new clothes :)

It's all so service oriented.... I was really spoilt, I could so get used to living like that! Everywhere we went we'd hear "Yes Ma'am", "No Ma'am", "3 bags full Ma'am".... And it was always accompanied with a little wiggle of the head.... You know what I mean? Like someone's put a piece of string through your ears, and is playing tug of war.... But you know you've been there long enough when you start to do it too.... :$ It's so infectious!

But of course, as with anything, there are highs and lows.... The smells have to be sniffed to be believed... And I won't even mention the hole-in-the-ground toilets.... *yucky* Lol!!!

But all in all, it's good to be back - settling into routine and mundaneness.... Even if I did have to spend the whole journey back on the plane! [And of course, my mum couldn't resist sharing the joyous occasion with the crew, who then announced it, leaving everyone gawking at me with nowhere to hide!!! But they were really sweet, and looked after me so well, even getting together to give me a bottle of champagne ;) ]

I go back to uni soon, which is awesome!! It's been such a hectic summer, it'll be good to see everyone again..... I got my halls room yday! It's quite nice - freshly refurbished (to the point that you can still get high from paint fumes!) Haven't met any of my flatmates yet..... But surely they can't be any worse than the last few years!!! (Jus playing....!)

So that's a recap of my life..... Fascinating, huh?! Lol.... So back to those job applications.... :) Except of course, procrastination is key... Maybe I'll go get something to eat first - not too early for lunch, is it? Lol!

Well hello there faithful blog readers....

I am very sad.... Well, not really, but this is an "Adieu" message, so I feel I ought to be! Lol, don't worry (or be too thankful :P ), I'm not going forever! Just off to India for a couple of weeks, which means my blog posts will be less frequent.... And yes, I'm not sad because I'm really REALLY excited!!! I'm basically gonna be shopping non-stop!!! What a dream come true! Especially since lately my shopaholic urges (I really have a lot of -holic addictions! Hmmm...) have been resurfacing, and it's all I can do to force them way back down til I get to India!

So miss me lots and lots while I'm away, for when I return I shall be forever changed.... Yup, I am getting old! I'll be 22, and am very excited about my birthday! But only because birthdays are happy times where you can eat cake without the guilt, and that cheeky smile that's giving away all the mischief you get up to is ignored for the day! And of course, who could forget the presents!!! I'm registered at Tiffany's for all you generous souls out there (HAHA, if only! - Not the generous bit, I'm sure you all are, but the registered bit....).

The age bit on the other hand is very saddening, because though I'm readily the first to admit my mental age of 5, all my i.d. suggests I'm well past the "entering adulthood" era of 18-21, and approaching "the mid-20's" era.... Subtle psychological differences, but very much felt nonetheless.... :(

So.... Think happy thoughts! As a very wise young lady once said, "Age ain't nothin' but a number"....

"We don't stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing"... So let's all play some more! Monopoly anyone...? - Shamelessly plagiarised from Waz's blog

"Live every day as if it were your last.... And someday, you'll be right!" How depressing!!!

"You only live once..... But if you live it right, once is enough!"

"Time passing you by is only a matter of mind... Hence.... If you don't mind, it doesn't matter"

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." - James Dean

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads." -Vlade Divac, NBA basketball player

P.S. Uber sorry for any traumatising thoughts the last blog might have induced....

The 9-month Theory.....

I opened my Outlook today.... Nothing unusual, those of you who know me well enough to know about my to-do lists will understand my need to check out my Task-list on Outlook excessively(or should that be obsessively?)... And you will have heard how positively... Ummm... (Sorry, but it's the only relevant word I can think of) orgasmic I get about getting things done and being able to cross things off it....

But that's not the point of it.... What I'm trying to get across is this irrefutable theory I discovered years ago! You know, being the uber eager-beaver maths geek back in Year 7 that I was (and maybe still am), when we did some random stats project... I couldn't help but notice the sharp spike in people born in the month of September... But my poor innocent little mind had no idea what I had discovered back then, and am now traumatised to discover now....

What I saw today when I opened my Outlook, was my calendar.... With all my birthdays marked in... Did you know I have at least one birthday every single day, from the 5th to the 15th of September, with a grand total of 28 birthdays in September (and that's just the people whose birthdays I bothered writing down - there's way more that Facebook reminds me about on a daily basis that I should have written down....)... It reminded me of this theory I keep mentioning that I'd discovered.....

The 9-month Theory
Drunken people do foolish things during the Xmas-New Years' festive period.... This then results in said drunken people's progeny being produced 9 months later, hence the obscenely large number of September births....

Extension
Okay, so you're not born in September.... Well the next part of the theory requires a slight bit of calculation on your part.... When are your parents' birthdays? When are their anniversaries...? Yup, add on 9 months, and voila! Yours, or a sibling's birthday seems to fit!

Ya-huh.... I have harboured this deep, dark theory for a few years.... But at this point, would like to add that I am a "Stork" baby.... I was born of immaculate conception, and was delivered to my parents by the cute image of the baby in the blanket brought by the stork (Yup, we've all seen Dumbo...)

Whew... Now I've got that off my mind, I can go to sleep like a new born-baby :)
Goodnight! Sweet dreams!

Today I'll leave you with these.... When I read them, I thought they followed on from the last post of losing my mind quite well... :)

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline

"It is white."
- George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

How do you keep a mind?

I think I'm losing mine! :S HELP!!!

So guess what I did for the first time today ever? I typoed in my handwriting... Weird huh? I mean, I guess it's not all that unordinary, but I'm very particular about my spelling, so it just felt mega weird.... Like I was losing my mind.... Hmmm....

So then I just had one of the most random convo's ever about this losing of my mind, and how to keep it, and how I get on really well with it.... :S

Me: Yeah, I know, I quite like my mind... I'd hate to lose it!
Me: It doesn't even get to go on holidays
Friend: its your bday. someone will get you another one.
Me: Lol! No but I want this one.... I've known it for 22 years....
Friend: put a collar on it? with a tag saying its address, namely, your head.

AND SO IT CONTINUES.....

Friend: how about you fool it into thinking theres no where to run - like wrap black all around it and then it wont know where to run
Me: It just tends to get a little lost every now and again
Me: Black's an unhappy colour... I like my mind too much to do that :)
Friend: ok, wrap it in purple
Friend: it will be so happy it wont even remeber to run away
Me: True.... LOL! I do like purple....

So it was kinda random... But I've had even more random ones.... Like which cartoon characters are hot.
Or talking in depth about multitasking, and the ability to rub your belly & pat your head simultaneously....
Or about rainbow coloured underwear (Yup, Ro, Sheetal and Zain know about that one....).
Or about which superstars we'd invite on our private jet when we get one one day (you know who you are - please confirm I can cross Ronan Keating off the list now?)
Or msn food fights - we "threw" gulab jambun bombs, and fired arrows of celery sticks, and sent floods of daal.... And who could forget the barfi-bullets machine gum!
Or nudge wars! (which I obviously won, because I could send two at a time - try it, no one else's msn lets them!)

I mean, I've had the D&M's as well, like the meaning of life, and what you want from it. And good vs evil, what defines morality...? Is there a God? The power of chocolate (& what defines a true chocoholic!)? But I must admit I do like the random ones as well... So if you're ever bored, you know who to talk to :)

So anywhoo, in other news, I saw this recently, and thought it was hilarious! Apparently I'm not the only thing wrong with the world!

CHRIS ROCK: "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon. Need I say more?"

Always Drink Water On a Night Out.

Y'elloooo! How y'all doing?
Hmmm, how come you can greet people with yellow but not with purple...? That's one to introduce to the world when I take over it! Yup, you heard/read right! God help you all!!! Muahahahahahahaha!

So I went out last night, for my friend Nisha's birthday... Haven't been out in a while, so I don't think it was a good idea starting with shots.... Especially not ones served in doubles :S Lol! Let's just say it was an interesting night! And I really do love my buddy Roshni!! She cracks me up when she drinks... :) [she's the one I mentioned a few posts ago as being the booty-shaker.... & boy was that prophetic!!!!! Though I'd like to think that I can match her performance, lol!]

So some key words and phrases I learnt are a bad idea to try and say when under the influence....

• Inebriated - just some advice. Even if you say things like "I'm not inebriated" it doesn't make it true. Because when you're drunk, you try to.....
• Enunciate a lot more, except it still doesn't come out right!
• Thingummiebobba - as in: Hold up, my jacket's caught on that... ummm... thingummiebobba *try to stop walking, reverse motion, then start walking again, nearly falling over in the process*

There were more, but it's funny how you forget things like that, which are sooo funny in the moment! Like try saying "Pappu Miya Piya" 5 times in a row... Hmmm... Not quite a "Peter Piper picked a pickled pepper..." but a challenge nonetheless.

Oh, and some good songs for the same situation.... Maybe more so for me because of the happy memories they hold for me and Ro :)

• Thong Song by Sisqo (remember him? I was so disappointed when I learnt his real name is Mark Andrews - how mundane can you get?!?!)
• Dance With Me by 112 (Well all songs by 112 are great, but the little bit in the middle "If you're sexy & you know it, clap your hands"..... Lol, I'm not even gonna say any more!)
• Re-Re-Wind by Craig David & Artful Dodger
• I'm Sorry by Monsta Boy ft Denzie (Ro, you wanted details for this song when you'd be able to remember them, so here you go!)
• Naughty Girl by Destiny's Child (or is it just Beyonce? I dunno... But I think dancing to that is fun!!!)
• 21 Seconds by So Solid [Except they didn't let it play on til Romeo's bit, so we didn't get to do the pelvic thrust with the "Mmm, mine!" :( ]
• Let's Get Married by Jagged Edge (Cue us all going down on one knee, lol! I think Brinski hates me now... Oh dear!)
• All Night Long by Mary J (HAHA! My music's on shuffle, & guess what just started playing! Phreaky!)
• Oh by Ciara
• Doin' It by LL Cool J
• Just In Case (RMX) by Jaheim
• Hips Don't Lie by Shakira
• Drop It Like It's Hot by Snoop & Pharrell
• Touch My Body by Sean-a Paul ft Nina Sky

So I didn't mean to get into a whole playlist there, but I just got really excited when I started talking about all these songs! And part of the reason is because we were trying to remember them all, except we don't actually remember the whole night :$

Lol.... So it was a good night.... We all had a lotta jokes.... (Remember the "cheers" on the stage...? LOL!) But I'm really REALLY looking forward to getting back to uni, and back to Crush!!! Yup, I'm a Crush-a-holic too! Can you blame me? Drinks are a quarter the price, home is only a 5 min walk away, not an hr's drive, and more than anything, you're SURROUNDED by friends everywhere you look... I actually think *shock-horror-in-a-never-thought-I'd-see-the-day-kinda-way* that I might actually be bored of standard clubbing! You know, the nights filled with the teeny-bopper rude boys I described in an earlier post....

In other news... Life is boring... Hmph... I think I might do eat some chocolate, I could do with a sugar rush ;)
Catch ya later!!!

xxx

Bah! Humbug!

So it's September.... And I'm due to be a final year student back at uni in a few more weeks.... Who knows what that means? Full marks and top of the class if you guess! Yup.... Time to start looking for a job! Well, for most people, it's still a little early, but for all the wannabe bankers who are due to sell their soul to capitalism, it is that time of year (again! - If you applied for internships!)

So if you know what I'm about to put myself through, because you've been through it before (Congrats on surviving!), or are doing so now (Good luck - you'll need it), then you can sympathise with my predicament!

So I thought I'd compile a few hints and tips for you all, and remind myself of all these things simultaneously....

Hints & Tips:
*When you say something, give evidence. EG/ See buzzwords.

* Make sure you get the company name right in the form... Copy & paste sometimes means you end up with something like this... "I would like to work for McDonald's because Burger King is a great company that makes scrummy food"

* Don't use thesaurus for words you don't really know.... You don't want to send off a form with something like "I am determined to get this job" becoming "I am determined to get this chore"

* Alawys chek four typoes. (Sic. No I did not mean to put 4 typoes in that sentence).

Buzzwords:

*Determined - I am determined to get this job because I am great and I am the best and I always succeed because I am amazing
Eg. From a nameless lost soul...
"i went to resuce a princess from the dragon. i examined the situation, and determined that the risk was too great, and instead offered my ass in gratitude of not being eaten as well."
Note... This person has a job (yup, who'd've thunk it?!?!) which makes this a GREAT answer.

*Reliable - writing "You can always count on me to miss the deadline." is a bad idea.... Instead, try "I am very reliable because I never fail to be at the drinks machine at 11:30 for a Diet Coke break."

*Winner - I always come first in the race to the ice cream truck.

*Team player - You can't write the feem tune, sing the feem tune, and star in the show all by yourself!

*Networking - Knowing all your mum's brother's wife's nephews girlfriend's brothers may help at Indian functions in knowing who's who, but it won't help with job applications.

*Communication - dOn"7 tYp3 L!l<3>


And if you get a letter that goes something like this, don't cry!

"We regret (are not sad at all) to inform that we will be rejecting your application for *insert company name here*, but thank you for taking the time (and wasting ours) to apply. We will (not) be keeping your CV on file (because we will be too busy making a bonfire from all the CV's like yours).
Best regards, (and have a nice life, loser!)"

Lol, I'm coming across as super-cynical now..... Especially with those translations! It's not REALLY as bad as I make out.... Not far off though! But hey, it's a learning curve! I guess getting through the harsh reality of searching for a job prepares us for the not-too-far-off day when we begin working and leave behind all those late nights, and hangovers, and holidays.... Sounds like fun, huh?!

So, to one and all, good luck with your applications! [unless you're trying to steal my job, in which case, a plague on your house!!!!!]